Most of you will know that Brendan's mum passed away. It was a peaceful passing, and we had enough time to say our farewells. In hindsight, she had probably left us long before her last day - it was really only her body that was on earth and towards the end it became a very heavy burden for her.
It reminds me of the scene from The Little Prince (movie), when the Prince tells the Aviator that he needs to travel back to his planet, but that his body is too heavy to take with him which is why he enlists the snake's help.
I also finished my second-last semester of my master's degree, and the prospect of doing days-long take home exams was actually much less stressful in practice. I got my dirty code running (Brendan claims my code isn't pure enough - but as if I have time to write production-quality code) and had my scanning app at the ready to scan all my hand-written answers.
Knowing that I only have one more semester of exams left is very cheering! Knowing that even if I get a job afterwards, I might have to do it from home is not very cheering.
Uni has said that there will be a limited number of small-size classes held on campus next semester. But with the numbers from this second-wave going up, I don't know if they're still going ahead with that.
I had planned to get a haircut, and a celebration dinner at Anada (a Spanish restaurant I've wanted to try for a while) to celebrate the end of exams and my birthday. But with the new case numbers, I've decided to be responsible and call it off. I will be spending this time at home, probably watching Ready Player One and baking a cake for myself.
I know there's probably a pretty low chance I'll catch coronavirus from one dinner at a small-ish restaurant in Fitzroy, but given the numbers are about as big as they were in March (and yes, I know we're doing more testing, but also the bulk of new cases are community transmissions with no known source) and given how precautious I was in March, it seems a bit silly to go out now.
And I guess at the end of the day, even though I didn't like it, I felt I had better do the responsible thing. Yes, it's annoying, and sad and no one likes having their freedoms curtailed etc., but with rights comes responsibilities. In an individualistic culture like ours, we tend to be focused on a rights-based rhetoric that champions the freedom and opportunity to pursue any life that holds meaning to us. But the other half of it is that we use our rights responsibly. Your actions will affect others, especially in the middle of a pandemic.
Anyway, enough preaching! I recently finished reading The Female Eunuch, a book I probably started seven years ago or something. Most of the book is not about men, or even patriarchal institutions. It's mostly about how women have internalised their oppression and even though Greer recognises the social conditioning that has made it so, and how unfair that might be, she is often yelling at women themselves to wake up. It's a bit of a contrast to the victimhood culture dominating a lot of US colleges right now, where trigger warnings and safe spaces prop up to protect people with oppressed identities from having to deal with their oppressors. In contrast, Greer claims that despite how the patriarchy turns women into objects and erodes their autonomy, we need to take responsibility for our emancipation. Yes it's a tall ask, and I think Greer knows that. While trigger warnings and safe spaces rely on third parties (campus administration) to rectify historical power imbalances by giving more voice and credence to oppressed minorities, Greer calls on women to take responsibility for their own movement, even if at first, they lack the power and structures to do so.
Obviously, she's writing from the point of view of a middle-class woman in a developed country, so her message is only relevant to that class of people. And she's not referring to women taking sole responsibility for prosecuting more egregious instances of sexism like sexual abuse. She's talking about our own choices as a consumer, a lover, a parent. She talks about how our ideas of romance, marriage and motherhood are simply myths - no one ever said being a good parent means you have to quit your job and be full-time stay-at-home. She talks about how marriage is marred by the nuclear-family structure (popular in America/England, not so popular in asian countries where three generations live under the same roof) which relies on women giving up their independence and relying on men for financial support. This then brings about jealousy (jealous of their husbands' lives), insecurity, the loss of bargaining power in the marriage other than through sexual favours, and the need to make their husbands dependent on them (by, for example, restricting his ability to make emotional connections outside of the marriage). She talks about how the prescribed sacrifice that mothers have to make for their children leads to resentment and pained martyrdom, where children have to strive to be worthy of the sacrifice and have to express gratitude for things that they didn't even realise they'd asked for.
Anyway, lots of questions about marriage and motherhood - which maybe I'll address in a separate post. Hope everyone's doing well, and hopefully I will see some of you soon!
No comments:
Post a Comment