*cue some stripped music*
Hello, and welcome to diary of an introvert.
(Can you imagine me doing a vlog instead of a blog? Lol that is how I'd imagine each episode would start with the tagline and all).
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First up I wanted to say thank you to all my friends. I think I said it a couple of posts down but I don't think that did it enough justice. Before I opened up to all of you about what had been happening in the last three months, I was really scared. I thought about it for a long time because I was scared of being judged. I've been treated badly but I know that there was fault in my own actions and that I'd made some bad judgment calls.
But I chose to open up because I knew I needed you all, and I hoped that if we were true friends it wouldn't matter (because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind). And I was right! You guys all backed me and I'm so touched and I feel so lucky and well-loved. This whole experience has taught me again that it takes courage to show vulnerability, but that without it we wouldn't be able to forge intimate relationships. So thank you everyone for being there during a pretty dark time for me - I will always remember this.
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General life updates! For anyone interested -
- I watched Emma tonight and I really liked it. The dialogue was very true to the book but the tone/comedic touches made it so modern. For the first time, I could imagine Frank, Jane, Emma and Mr Knightley in a modern-drama-version of a love square.
- I got my ears pierced!
- I joined reddit and fell in love with r/Menslib (see below post)
- I watched the #MeToo episode on Man Enough today (also see below) and cried a lot because they started talking about having the courage to speak up against toxic masculine behaviour (knowing that they would be punished for speaking out against their own gender) and how the women in their lives protected them from seeing how ugly the world was when they chose not to share their stories of abuse, and how for too long they had been selfish and left women to fight on their own while they benefited from the moral courage of the females in their lives. (Mainly got teary because it's nice when other people acknowledge how much courage it takes to stand up to an entire social structure because it's not easy. My experience is very petty in this regard, but I remember being teased about attending a women in leadership conference by two male colleagues once. Even though we were close, and I knew their jokes meant no harm, I still felt a moment of panic before I took the courage to tell them to stop teasing me).
- I met the person who is writing a paper that I desperately wanted to read a few months ago and then discovered today that it hadn't been published yet because she's still writing it. Still exciting!! She was kind enough to give me some links to papers on a specific area of gender economics.
- My initial plan to write my thesis on something development/political economics related organically grew into something much more gender and feminist focused - given I seem to always stray to those kinds of articles.
- I have been resisting the urge to post funny stuff I read in papers on social media because I feel like most of you won't relate and then I'll just become that annoying friend doing research who keeps posting every second day about *+tidyverse+* or *+wacky instrumental variables+* or some woke thing about feminist economics.
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